We need to talk about it – NOW

Sara Knapton
Publication date: 
29 June 2018

Hi! My name is Sara. I will start by stating that I love my parents deeply, however this is how I would have described them throughout my childhood…….a criminal with a love of women and a tendency towards depressive episodes; and, a narcissist with a love of diamonds, an equal fondness for ignoring reality and the most unashamed liar I have ever known. My life hasn’t exactly been what many would assume - I was first arrested at 10 and again at 25 for the suspected attempted murder of my drug dealer (yes, this really happened)! You see, I somehow fell through the cracks growing up, as outwardly, I was part of a nice normal family and things like this don’t happen to us, and if they do, they certainly don’t get spoken about……. until now.


In 2008, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, aged 21 years. At the time, I was severely unwell. I had a cocaine addiction, was at times self-harming, I was borderline anorexic with severe body dysmorphia and I had attempted suicide at least once (I can’t remember the number exactly). I was an incredibly angry, sad, frightened and lonely girl who was screaming, in every sense of the word, for someone to love me and take care of me. I was completely broken. So…. how does someone come to be just 21 and have all these problems? Well, this is something I am still working out and, as I learn more about my family, I am able to see what happened to me from a different perspective and realise that I was in fact a victim of severe and chronic emotional abuse throughout the large part of my childhood and all of early adulthood. Over the years, multiple fingers have been pointed at my supposed perpetrator(s). I was always led to believe that my problems all stemmed from my father and my relationship with him but over the years I have slowly, and painfully, come to realise that this only ever a small part of the truth.