Title: Depression and anxiety threatened to kill my career. So I came clean about it


English Title:

by Yasha Hartberg

Summary

Depression and anxiety threatened to kill my career. So I came clean about it

Detailed description

Teaching was my dream job, writes Yasha Hartberg. But how would students react to a professor who could barely keep his life together? In the fall of 2016, I landed a part-time job teaching writing to pre-med majors at Texas A&M University. In 2017, this turned into a dream, full-time position, and it seemed like my life was finally falling into place. Just a semester later, though, at the start of 2018, I experienced the worst panic attacks of my life. I was holding things together at work, mostly, but a few times each week I closed my office door, turned off the lights, and crawled under my desk to bawl. I constantly suffered near-paralyzing fear, and it was affecting my students. I debated what it would mean to tell my class. Would students no longer respect me as an instructor? I finally decided to share what I was going through, but, in nearly 20 years of teaching, I’d never been more terrified to be in front of students. I don’t remember exactly what I said at the end of class that day, but I tried to describe the situation straightforwardly. Some of you, no doubt, have noticed that the class isn’t going smoothly. Readings haven’t been posted on time. Due dates for assignments have sometimes been confusing. I haven’t been getting feedback to you as quickly as I’d like. I pride myself on being on top of things, so I feel you deserve an explanation.

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Created At

2019-10-01 08:12:13

Revised At

2019-10-01 14:04:29

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